A Teaching Moment

Imagine what it must feel like to live in a world where everyone around you - parents, older siblings, teachers, strangers on the tram - seems to be telling you what to do, and how to do it. What’s right and wrong. OK and Not OK. Acceptable and Un-. Yes, this is how kids learn to do most anything, but there must be some psychic cost of always being on the low-status end of these interactions.

Adulthood, of course, replaces the authority figures of our formative years with new ones - professors, bosses, partners, the government, or law enforcement officials - but at least, in this stage of life, the being-told-what-to-do is at least somewhat offset by some accumulated knowledge or expertise, which - finally - enables us to tell others what to do, or share our knowledge.

So, notice - savor, record, write about - these moments when your child is in a real or imagined position of authority, and generously chooses you as their disciple. Maybe the lesson has to do with the appropriate decorum for playing with a specific plush rabbit, the proper order in which to wave together the strands of a friendship bracelet, or the idiosyncracies of a tram to which you’ve never given a second glance.

Regardless of how important these things are to you, appreciate the importance the activity - and the teaching of it to you - carries for them. And write them a little note of appreciation, and maybe a photo or video, thanking them for the lesson.